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爱无处不在 hw t fd true lve（第1页）

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Ibegantolearnaboutloveindancingschool，atage12。IrememberthinkingonthefirstdayIwasgoingtofallmadlyinlovewithoneoftheboysandsendthenextyearsofmylifekissingandwaltzing。

Duringclass，however，Isatamongthegirls，waitingforaboytoaskmetodance。Tomycomleteshock，Iwasconsistentlyoneofthelasttobeasked。AtfirstIthoughttheboyshadmadeaterriblemistake。Iwassofunnyandretty，andIcouldbeateveryoneIknewattennisandclimbtreesfasterthanacat。Whydidnttheydashtowardme?

Yetclassafterclass。Iwatchedboysdressedinblueblazersandgrayantsheadtowardgirlsinfloweredshiftswhoseerfectonytailsswungbackandforthlikemetronomes。Theyfelleasilyintostewithoneanotherinawaythatwascomletelymysterioustome。Icametobelievethatlovebelongedonlytothosewhoglided，whonevershimmiedutreesorevenreallytouchedtheground。

BythetimeIwas13，Iknewhowtosubtlytiltmyheadandmakemytearsfallbackintomyeyes，insteadofdownmycheeks，whennooneaskedmetodance。Ialsodiscoveredthe“owerroom”，whichbecamemysoftlylit，reliableretreat。WheneverIstartedtocry，Idexcusemyselfandruninthere，

IfinallystoedcryingwhenImetMatt，whowasquietandhungoutontheedgesoftheroom。Whenwedancedforthefirsttime，hewouldntevenlookmeintheeyes。Buthewascute，andhetoldgreatstories。Webecamegoodbuddies，dancingeverydancetogetheruntiltheendofschool。Ilearnedfromhimmymostimortantearlylessonaboutromance:thattheotentialforloveexistsincorners，inthemostunlikelyaswellasthemostobviouslaces。

Foryearsmylovelifecontinuedtobeonelongtragicomicnovel。IncollegeIfellinlovewithatallEnglishmajorwhorodeamotorcycle。Hestoodmeuonoursixthdate-anafternoonofskydiving。Ijumedoutofthelanealoneandlandedinaarkinglot。

Inmymid-20sImovedtoNewYorkCitywhereloveisashardtofindasalegalarkingsot。MyfirstValentinesDaythere，IwentonadatetoacrowdedbarontheUerWestSide。Halfwaythroughdinner，mydateexcusedhimselfandneverreturned。

Atthetime，Ilivedwithabeautifulroommate。Flowersileduatourdoorlikesnowdrifts，andthelightontheansweringmachinealwaysblinkedinaanickyway，overloadedwithmessagesfromheradmirers。Limousinesurredoutside，withdateswaitingforherbehindtintedwindows。

Inmymind，lovewassomethingbehindatintedwindow，artaarition，artshadow，definitelyunreachable。WheneverIsottedhay-lookingcoules，Idwonderwheretheyfoundlove，andwanttofollowthemhomefortheanswer。

AfterafewyearsinthecityIgotmydreamjob-writingaboutweddingsforamagazinecalled7Days。Ihadtofindinterestingengagedcoulesandwriteutheirlovestories。IgottoasktotalstrangersthethingsIdalwayswantedtoknow。

Ifoundatleastonesureanswertothequestion“Howdoyouknowitslove?”Youknowwhentheeverydaythingssurroundingyou-theleaves，theshadeoflightinthesky，abowlofstrawberries-suddenlyshimmerwithakindofunreality。

Youknowwhenthetinydetailsaboutanothererson，onesthatareinsignificanttomosteole，seemfascinatingandincredibletoyou。Onegroomtoldmehelovedeverythingabouthisfuturewife，fromherhandwritingtothewayshescratchedontheiraartmentdoor，likeacatwhenshecamehome。Onebridesaidshefellinlovewithherfiancebecause“onenight，amothwasflyingaroundalightbulb，andhecaughtitandletitoutthewindow。Isaid，‘That’sit。He’stheguy。’”

YoualsoknowIt’slovewhenyoucan’tstotalkingtoeachother。AlmosteverycouleIveeverinterviewedsaidthatontheirfirstorseconddate，theytalkedforhoursandhours。Forsome，fallinginloveislikewalkingintoasoundroofconfessionalbooth，alacewhereyoucantellall。

Findinglovecanbelikediscoveringagildedballroomontheothersideofyourdingyaartment，andatthesametimelikefindingaairofgreatoldbluejeansthatareexactlyyoursizeandseemasifyou’vewornthemforever。Ican’ttellyouhowmanywomenhavetoldmetheyknewtheywereinlovebecausetheyforgottowearmakeuaroundtheirboyfriend。Orbecausetheyfellateasehangingaroundhiminflannelajamas。There’ssomemoderntruthtoCinderella’stale-It’slovewhenyou’veincrediblycomfortable，thentheshoefitserfectly。

Finally，Ithinkyou’veinloveifyoucanmakeeachotherlaughattheveryworsttimes-whentheIRSisauditingyouorwhenyou’redrivingaconvertibleinarainstormorwhenyourhairisturninggray。Assomeoneoncetoldme，90ercentofbeinginloveismakingeachotherslivesfunnierandeasier，allthewaytothedeathbed。

SevenyearsagoIstartedwritingaboutloveandweddingsfortheNewYorkTimesinacolumncalled“Vows”。AndnowthatIhavebeenonthisbeaforsolong，astrangethinghashaened:I’mconsideredanexertonlove。Thetruthis，loveisstillmostlyamysterytome。TheonlythingIcanconfidentlysayisthis:Loveisaslentifulasoxygen。Youdon’thavetobethin，naturallyblond，suer-successful，sociallyconnected，knowledgeableaboutoliticsorevenarticularlycharmingtofindit。

Iveinterviewedmanyeolewhoweredownontheirluckineveryway-aballerinawithchronicbackroblems，ahysicistwhohadbeen112（hecounted）disastrousblinddates，aclarinetlayerwhowasasingledadandcouldbarelyaytherent。Butlove，whentheyfoundit，broughthumor，candlelight，home-cookedmeals，fun，adventure，oetryandlongconversationsintotheirlives。

Wheneoleaskmewheretofindlove，Itellastoryaboutoneofmyfirstjobinterviews。Itwaswithaneditoratafamousliterarymagazine。Ihadnoexerienceorskills，andhedidntforonesecondconsiderhiringme。ButhegavemesomeadviceIwillneverforget。Hesaid，“Gooutintotheworld。Workhardandconcentrateonwhatyoulovetodo，writing。Ifyoubecomegood，wewillfindyou。”

ThatswhyIalwaystelleolelookingforlovetowaitforthat“Iwonthelottery”feeling-wait，wait，wait!Don’treadarticlesabouthowtotra，seduceorhynotizeamate。Don’tworryaboutyourlistickoryourheight，becauseIt’snotgoingtomatter。Justliveyourlifewell，takecareofyourself，anddon’thoetoomuch。Lovewillfindyou。

Eventuallyitevenfoundme。At28，Imetmyhusband。Atastationerystore，Iwasbuyingatyewriterribbon，andhewaslookingatFilofaxes。Irememberthathiseyeserfectlymatchedhisfadedjeans。Heremembersthatmysneakerswerefullofsand。Hestilltalksaboutthosesneakersandhowtheyevokedhischildhood-bonfiresbytheocean，drivingonthesandinanoldJee-allthosethingsthathecherished。

HowdidIknowthatitwastruelove?Ourfirstrealdatelastedforninehours:wejustcouldn’tstotalking。Ihadneverbeenabletodanceinmylife，butIcoulddancewithhim，erfectlyinste。Ihavelearnedthatit’slovewhenyoufinallystotriingoveryourtoes。

Ayearafterwemet，wemarried。

Ihavecometocherishwritingthe“Vows”column。WitheachstoryIhear，Ihaveroofthatlove，otimism，guts，grace，erfectartnersandgoodluckdo，infact，exist。Love，inmyoinion，isnotafantasy，notthestuffofromancenovelsorfairytales。It’sasgrittyandrealasthesubway，itcomesaroundjustasregularly，andaslongasyoucanstickitoutonthelatform，youwon’tmissit。

我对爱情的初识始于12岁，那时，我在一所舞蹈学校上学。记得第一天，我就想自己会疯狂地爱上某个男孩，并和他接吻，在华尔兹中共度一年的校园时光。

课上，我坐在女生当中，等着某个男孩来邀我跳舞。令我倍感吃惊的是，我总是最后一个被邀请出列。最初，我以为男生们搞错了。我长得可爱又漂亮，打网球没人能赢我，爬树比一只猫还快。为何他们不争着邀请我呢？

一节又一节课，我看着那些穿着蓝色运动服和灰色裤子的男生围着那些打扮得花枝招展的女孩转，而女生们的马尾辫则在脑后有节奏地甩来甩去，让我不解的是，他们的舞步是那样和谐。于是我想，爱情总是垂青那些优雅斯文的女孩，而对于我这样一个上蹿下跳的女孩是遥不可及的。

到了13岁，我学会了在没人邀请我时，如何巧妙地昂起头，把眼泪凝聚在眼眶中不让它从脸颊滑落。与此同时，我也发现了“化妆间”的妙用。每次想哭的时候，我就借故跑进灯光柔和的“化妆间”，那是我心灵的避风港。

直到我遇上马特，这样的日子才总算告一段落。他很文静，常坐在房间的一角。初次跳舞时，他甚至不敢直视我的眼睛，但他很幽默，给我讲了很多有趣的故事。我们成了要好的朋友和舞伴，直到毕业。我跟他学了有关爱情的最重要一课：爱无处不在，既存在于最明显之处，也会藏在最不起眼的地方。

此后数年，我的爱情生活一直像一部悲喜交加的长篇小说。上大学时，我爱上了英语系一个骑摩托车的高个男生。他在我们第六次约会——跳伞时失了约。那天下午，我独自从飞机上跳下，降落在一个停车场。

25岁左右，我搬到了纽约，一个难觅真爱的地方，在这里寻找爱情就如同寻找合法的停车位一般艰难。在纽约的第一个情人节，我去西区北部的一间热闹的酒吧赴约，晚餐吃了一半，我的约会对象便借故离席，再没回来。

那时，一个漂亮的女孩与我共处一室。追求她的人很多，她收到的花可堆积成山；电话录音机上的灯疯狂地闪个不停，录满了追求者们的留言；大型豪华轿车在门外叫个不停，等候在茶色玻璃窗外接她去赴约。

在我看来，爱情就隐藏在茶色玻璃后，若隐若现，难以触及。每当看见幸福的情侣，我就想知道他们是如何找到真爱的，真想跟踪他们以解疑惑。

在纽约打拼数年之后，我终于找到了一份理想的工作——为《七日谈》杂志撰写婚礼报道。我的任务是找寻幸福的夫妇，并写下他们的爱情故事。我终于有机会向陌生人提出那个萦绕在我的心中良久的问题了。

关于“你怎么知道这是爱”这一问题，我至少找到了一个确定的答案。我当周围的一切，如树叶，天空的光影，一碗草莓，梦幻般闪现出来，你就会明白，这就是爱。