赫尔曼与罗玛·罗森布拉特
HermanandRomaRosenblat
Itiscold,sobittercoldonthisdarkwinterdayin1942。ButitisnodifferentfromanyotherdayinthisNaziconcentrationcam。Iamalmostdead,survivingfromdaytoday,fromhourtohour,eversinceIwastakenfrommyhomeandbroughtherewithtensofthousandsofotherJews。WillIstillbealivetomorrow?WillIbetakentothegaschambertonight?
Backandforthnexttothebarbedwirefencetryingtokeemyemaciatedbodywarm。Iamhungry,Ihavebeenhungryforlong。Eachday,asmoreofusdisaear,thehayastseemslikeameredream,andIsinkdeeeranddeeerintodesair。
Suddenly,Inoticeayounggirlwalkingastontheothersideofthebarbedwire。Shestosandlooksatmewithsadeyesthatseemtosaythatsheunderstands,thatshetoocannotfathomswhyIamhere。Iwanttolookaway,oddlyashamedforthisstrangertoseemelikethis,butIcannottearmyeyesfromhers。Thenshereachesintoherocket,andullsoutaredale。Oh,howlonghasitbeensinceIhaveseenone!Shelookscautiouslytotheleftandtotherightandthenwithsmileoftriumhquicklythrowsthealeoverthefence。Iruntoickitu,holdingitinmytremblingfrozenfingers。Inmyworldofdeaththisaleisanexressionoflife,oflove。Iglanceuintimetoseethegirldisaearingintothedistance。
ThenextdayIcannothelmyself-Iamdrawnatthesametimetothatsotnearthefence。Andagainshecomes。Andagainshebringsmeanaleflingingitoverthefencewiththatsamesweetsmile。ThistimeIcatchitandholdituforhertosee。Hereyestwinkle。Forsevenmonthswemeetlikethis。OnedayIhearfrighteningnews:werebeingshiedtoanothercam。
ThenextdaywhenIgreethermyheartisbreakingandIcanbarelyseakasIsaywhatmustbesaid:“Dontbringmeanaletomorrow。”Itellher,“Iambeingsenttoanothercam。”TurningbeforeIloseallmycontrolIrunawayfromtheFence。Icannotbeartolookback。
Monthsassandthenightmarecontinues。Butthememoryofthisgirlsustainsmethroughtheterror,theain,thehoelessness。Andthenonedaythenightmareisover。Thewarhasended。Thoseofuswhoarestillalivearefreed。Ihavelosteverythingthatwasrecioustomeincludingmyfamily。ButIstillhavethememoryofthisgirl,amemoryIcarryinmyheartandgivesmethewilltogoonasImovetoAmericatostartanewlife。
Yearsass。Itis1957。IamlivinginNewYorkCity。Afriendconvincesmetogoonablinddatewithaladyofhis。Reluctantly,Iagree。Butsheisnice,thiswomannamedRoma,andlikemesheisanimmigrantsowehaveatleastthatincommon。
“Wherewereyouduringthewar?”Romaasksmegentlyinthatdelicatewayimmigrantsaskoneanotherquestionsaboutthoseyears。
“IwasinaconcentrationcaminGermany,”Irely。
Romagetsafarawaylookinhereyes,asifsheisrememberingsomethingainfulyetsweet。
“Whatisit?”Iask。“Iamjustthinkingaboutsomethingfrommyast,Herman,”Romaexlainsinavoicesuddenlyverysoft,“Yousee,whenIwasayounggirlIlivednearaconcentrationcam。Wherewasaboythere,arisonerandforalongwhileIusedtovisithimeveryday。IrememberIusedtobringhimales。Iwouldthrowthealeoverthefenceandhewouldbesohay。”
Romasighsheavilyandcontinues,“Itishardtodescribehowwefeltabouteachother-afterallwewereyoungandweonlyexchangedafewwordswhenwecould-butIcantellyoutherewasmuchlovethere。Iassumehewaskilledlikesomanyothers。ButIcannotbeartothinkthat,andsoItrytorememberhimashewasforthosemonthsweweregiventogether。”
Withmyheartoundingsoloudly,IlookdirectlyatRomaandask,“Anddidthatboysaytoyouoneday‘Donotbringmeanaletomorrow。Iambeingsenttoanothercam’?”
“Why,yes。”Romaresonds,hervoicetrembling。
“ButHerman,howonearthcouldyouossiblyknowthat?”
Itakeherhandsinmineandanswer,“BecauseIwasthatyoungboy,Roma。”
Formanymoments,thereisonlysilence。Wecannottakeoureyesfromeachother,andastheveilsoftimelift,werecognizethesoulbehindtheeyes,thedearfriendweoncelovedsomuch,whomwehaveneverstoedloving,whomwehaveneverstoedremembering。
Finally,Iseak,“Look,Roma,Iwassearatedfromyouonce,andIdonteverwanttobesearatedfromyouagain。NowIamfree,andIwanttobetogetherwithyouforever。Dear,willyoumarryme?”
IseethesametwinkleinhereyesthatIusedtoseeasRomasays,“Yes,Iwillmarryyou。”
AlmostfortyyearshaveassedsincethatdaywhenIfoundRomaagain。Destinybroughtustogetherthefirsttimeduringthewartoshowmearomiseofhoe,andnowithadreunitedustofulfillthatromise。ValentinesDay,1996。IbringRomatotheOrahWinfreyShowtohonorheronnationaltelevision。IwanttotellherinfrontofthemillionsoftheeolewhatIfeelinmyhearteveryday:
“Darling,youfedmeintheconcentrationcamwhenIwashungry。AndIamstillhungry,forsomethingIwillnevergetenoughof:Iamonlyhungryforyourlove。”
1942年冬季的一天,天空昏暗阴冷,寒风刺骨。在纳粹集中营里,天天都是这种日子。自从我和无数犹太人一起被迫离开家园,来到这里以后,每天我就如同行尸走肉一般,活一天是一天,活一小时是一小时。明天,我还能活着吗?今晚,我会不会被带到毒气室呢?
沿着铁丝网,我来回地走着,想暖和一下我瘦弱的身体。我很饿,很久没有吃东西了。每天都会有很多人从我们当中消失,幸福的往昔犹如南柯一梦,我也日渐陷入更深的绝望之中。
突然,一个小女孩从铁丝网那边走来。经过我面前时,她停了下来,忧伤的眼睛注视着我,似乎是在说她理解我的感受,但不知道我为什么会在这里。被一个陌生人如此凝视,我感到非常不好意思,我想移开目光,但视线却无法从她身上移走。这时,她把手伸进口袋,掏出一个红苹果。噢,我有多久没见过这样的苹果了!她谨慎地左右看了看,然后面带着胜利的微笑,一下子把它抛过铁栅栏。我跑过去将它捡起来,用冻得发抖的手捧着它。在这个充满死亡的世界中,苹果无疑是生命和关爱的表达。我抬起头来,发现那女孩已经消失在远处了。
第二天,我鬼使神差地在同一时间又来到靠近铁丝网的同一地点。她真的又来了。她再次给我带来了苹果,并且带着同样甜蜜的笑容把它抛过铁栅栏。这一次我接住了苹果,捧着让她看,她眼里闪烁着光芒。接下来的七个月,我们每天都这样相见。可是有一天,我听到了一个骇人的消息:我们将被押往另一个集中营。
第二天,我见到她时,难过得说不出话来,但又不得不说:“明天,不要给我带苹果了!”我告诉她,“我将被押往另外一个集中营。”在我还能控制住自己的感情时,我转身从铁丝网旁跑开了。我实在不忍心回头。
一晃数月过去了,噩梦依然。但对小姑娘的思念,一直支撑着我度过了那些恐怖、痛苦和无望的日子。噩梦终结,战争结束的这一天终于来临。幸存下来的人获得了自由。我失去了一切珍贵的东西,包括我的家庭。但我仍然惦记着那个小女孩,并把对她的记忆一直珍藏在心底。在我移居美国开始新的生活后,这段回忆始终激励着我好好活下去。
岁月流逝,转眼到了1957年。我定居美国后,一个朋友想撮合我和他认识的一位女士约会,我勉强答应下来了。她叫罗玛,人很好,跟我一样,也是移民,因此,至少在这一点上,我们有着共同之处。
“战争期间,你在哪儿?”罗玛柔声细语地问道,以移民之间相互问及那段岁月所特有的体贴的方式。
“我在德国的一个集中营。”我答道。
罗玛陷入遐思,似乎想起了某些痛苦而又略带甜蜜的事情。
“你怎么了?”我问道。
“我只是想起了过去的一些事,赫尔曼。”罗玛解释道,声音突然变得无比温柔,“你知道吗?小时候我住在一个集中营附近。那儿有一个男孩,一个小囚犯,很长一段时间,我每天都去看他,我常常给他带苹果。我把苹果抛过铁栅栏丢给他,那时他是多么的开心啊。”