“It’s fine。 It’s a lot of sitting around and waiting for something to happen or running from place to place; meeting people you’re never going to see again。 I kind of wish I could just lie in the grass somewhere and read books;” Serena mused。
“College isn’t really about lying around and reading books;” Blair scoffed; placing her hand territorially on Nate’s thigh。
“I know。” Serena sighed。 “I just miss the way it used to be; sometimes。”
“I don’t;” Blair said as the waiter set their plates of food in front of them。 “I feel like our real lives have started。 Don’t you agree?” She turned sharply toward Nate and snatched a slice of bacon from his plate。
Suddenly; Serena couldn’t stand it anymore。 If she had to watch them be couply with each other; she at least needed a drink。
She cocked her head and gestured to the waiter。 “A round of mimosas? We’re celebrating!” she announced。 All she had to do was pretend she was in a movie; and she’d be able to make it through the rest of breakfast。
And would that movie be called The Flat Tire on the Perpetual Third Wheel?
who says you can’t go home?
“Daniel…san!” Can you get more rocks for the fire pit?” Rufus asked; poking his head out of a lopsided canvas…and…log structure that served as a sweat lodge。 Dan had spent the last few days in an upstate New York campsite with Rufus and his motley group of friends: Mika; Herbert; and Ron。 Ron preferred to be called Running Rainbow; and when he wasn’t serving as a barista at Starbucks; he taught tai chi for free in Central Park。 Mika and Herbert were tall; skinny; bald members of a folk…rock band that played open…mic nights around the city。 Rufus had met all three of them at a seminar at the Ninety…second Street Y called Bringing the Age of Aquarius into the Age of the Internet。
Rufus emerged from the sweat lodge wearing a blue…and…yellow striped towel around his waist and white Crocs。 He didn’t seem the least bit cold; despite the fact that the temperature hovered near freezing。 Dan was shivering in a Patagonia parka he’d inadvertently stolen from his Evergreen roommate。
“Okay;” Dan mumbled。 They’d only been in the woods for two nights; but it felt like a lifetime; especially since he didn’t even get cell service。 He’d wanted to call Vanessa at midnight on New Year’s Eve; but no matter how far away he walked from the campsite; he couldn’t get reception。
Dan sighed and grabbed a large moss…covered rock; groaning as he picked it up。
“Here。” He dropped the rock next to Rufus’s Crocs。 Inside; Herbert and Mika were banging on bongo drums。
“Thanks;” Herbert called。 “I think we’re ready to begin the ceremony。” He poked his head out of the structure like a puppy in an extra…large doghouse。 “And Dan; since you’re the youngest; you can be the dog soldier;” he announced。
“Excuse me?” Dog soldier?
“You need to protect the door while we chant away our demons;” Herbert explained。 “We have extra animal skins if you get cold。”
Dan did a double take。 Was this guy serious? Protect the door? Not only was it broad daylight; but the wooded area they were staying in was right next to a farmhouse。 What he’d thought had been a rushing river when they’d gotten to the site after dark on New Year’s had actually been the whooshing of cars across a highway。 But it was no use arguing。 Herbert had already retreated back into the sweat lodge with his bongo drum。
Dan sighed and sat on a log outside the lodge。 Fuck; he was cold。 He wondered what Vanessa was doing。 Knowing she was in New York while he was here was almost too much to bear。
Sounds like he’s the negative spirit。
He pulled a pen and a crumpled receipt from the pocket of his jacket。 Maybe he should focus on writing。 Maybe suffering would be good for him—he wasn’t going to suffer at all once he and Vanessa were living together。 Smoothing out the paper on his thigh; he began to write。
Sweat; skin heat; cold; wet sweet。
It was no use。 The poem sounded like the beginning of an erotic version of The Cat in the Hat。 There was no way he could do this for two more days。 Besides; sitting outside and guarding against evil spirits didn’t really equate to bonding time with his dad。 That was it。 He was going home。
“Dad?” Dan whispered hesitantly through the canvas…flapped door of the lean…to。
“What?” Rufus’s wiry hair was slick with sweat and his face was bright red as he swayed back and forth in front of the central fire。
“I don’t think this is working for me;” Dan said carefully。 “I need to see Vanessa。”
Rufus shook his grizzly head sadly and stood up。 Dan cringed。 His dad was only wearing a tiny purple Speedo that sagged in the ass。 “Are you sure?” he asked; clapping Dan on the shoulder。 “Because if you want me to take over dog soldier duty so you can sweat it out; that’d be